In the course of writing an upcoming post I was reminded of an interaction I had with a senior executive in Bangkok about two years ago.   We were on the 64th floor of a skyscraper having dinner- it was an open air restaurant at the very top with terrifyingly low, glass guard rails.   Paydirt for an Irwin Allen location scout… You could see all of Bangkok spread beneath and while it was beautiful, it kind of made me queasy.

I remember very little about the meal or the conversation really.  But in the course of talking about human behavior in organizations, this one bit of conversation has really stuck with me.  He said,  “If I go out of my way to get something done for a client and they say ‘thanks’ I don’t simply say ‘you’re welcome’ because that is the same as saying, ‘you are welcome to make my life painful.  Go right ahead.’  Instead, I say ‘You would have done the same for me.’  With that one, slight modification we are now in the land of favor-trading and the social contract.   I have done them a favor and they owe me in kind.   That is powerful”   It really struck me and I have found myself using it (or variations of it) in a myriad of interactions.

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